I have been listening recently to the report by various bodies on the apparent downfall of the Irish nation due to their drinking habits and drinking quantities. As a drinker myself I’m far from the idiot these people with their statistics want me to be, I have a few facts of my own you may like to hear. All facts stated are freely available online.
1: Alcohol consumption has increased 17% since 1995 in Ireland.
2: The amount of days spent in hospital used by people with alcohol related illness has doubled since 1995 to a figure of 117,000.
3: Irelands expenditure on alcohol is nearly 10 times that of Greece and far greater than the majority of European countries
4: Our opening hours are to blame for all the drinking related problems on the weekends.
5: You can’t compare us to Europe! They have a different culture to us.
6: Cheap booze is to blame for our drinking problems and we need to raise the price!
7: If we reduce the amount of outlets that can sell alcohol we will limit the impact is has on society.
Summary
1: Alcohol consumption has increased 17% since 1995 in Ireland.
Wow! 17% you say. God maybe we should ban alcohol, no, hold on, the drinking population in Ireland has grown more than that since 1995 and the age bracket of 18 – 35 has increased also, and taken the alcohol consumption itself is not the problem but the abuse of it is, then that statement is complete rubbish!
2: The amount of days spent in hospital used by people with alcohol related illness has doubled since 1995 to a figure of 117,000.
Surely this is proof that we have a problem? No? First off we ask ourselves why give us the number of bed days spent? Who actually speaks like that, “So how long will my rehabilitation be doctor? Oh should be no more than 5760 hours” instead of saying 8 months. The reason, it sounds better and more concerning to the public. Rather than just saying so many people spent so many nights in hospital, or giving us a figure of how many individual people were admitted to hospital due to alcohol, as that figure would be far smaller because generally anybody who abuses alcohol to that extent would do so on a regular basis. Also this figure is compiled using data that is collected where alcohol is a factor not just the sole reason e.g. a fire in a nightclub, everybody there goes to hospital as a precaution, all become a statistic. So what then of this statement? Well it shows us that our drinking culture is harming us but since the numbers have a spin on them we don’t actually know by how much.
3: Irelands expenditure on alcohol is nearly 10 times that of Greece and far greater than the majority of European countries!
Well we seem to be near the top of that table there, but were also the top of the VAT and PRICE table. Plus this doesn’t take into account that 70% of expenditure is on-licence sales where Ireland is at the top on price. Actually our beers are 5 times more expensive than continental Europe and our wine can be up to 12 times more expensive on a comparable bottle. Taking that into account we see that the last statement is there to fool all the people who never heard the word RATIO! And as a result is meaningless. A better statement would be the amount of number crunching idiots who need to be punched in the face until they realise we don’t fall for this crap anymore.
4: Our opening hours are to blame for all the drinking related problems on the weekends.
Finally we agree on something. Taking that the majority of Irish people finish work at 6 p.m. and then head out at 8 to 9 p.m. and pubs last serve at 11.30, that gives 2 and one half hours to which you drink as much as you can before you all get pushed out on the streets at the same time to kick the hell out of each other over an under cooked kebab and an overpriced taxi. Yeah I can see that was well thought out. Here’s a crazy idea how about 24hr opening for pubs then you could take your time drinking and you could all go home at different times.
Apparently a report has come to light that, decreasing the opening hours for drinking establishments reduces street crime, and our government have noticed this report. Good! Then they can take note of the other countries in Europe that open 24hr and don’t have half the problems we do. I think we are a bit selective on the reports we read. Don’t you?
5: You can’t compare us to Europe! They have a different culture to us.
Yeah and all the Italians are great lovers, all the Germans are efficient and all the French wear garlic, there all just born that way. What nonsense is that? Should we barricade up the windows encase the Germans invade again, because it’s in there culture! And we all know the Irish aren’t racist because it’s not in our culture. Surely the idea is to change our drinking “culture”, isn’t that what this is all about.
6: Cheap booze is to blame for our drinking problems and we need to raise the price!
As I explained in point 3 we are far from the place to go for cheap drink.
This is from another of those reports that gleam information from places that only suit their results. Surely the fact that France, Spain, Italy, Portugal etc, all have prices a fraction of our costs disproves that statement? Oh I forgot we can’t compare to Europe, handy that. Basically even if alcohol is banned people will still drink and that is a proven fact. Also it is know that when cheap alcohol is not available to younger people they will tend to pool money for a bottle of spirits or wine, a far more dangerous prospect than 4 yellow pack beers. I have a funny suspicion the LVA would benefit from supermarkets loosing their yellow pack beers, wines and spirits but then again who ever heard of corruption in an organisation in Ireland especially one who’s only looking out for the good of our health like the LVA!
7: If we reduce the amount of outlets that can sell alcohol we will limit the impact is has on society.
Take a 14 year old boy and count the amount of outlets he has to purchase alcohol. Let me see….none. Yet nearly all teenagers aged 15 in Ireland will have experienced alcohol and getting drunk. Then we see the café culture in Europe and we see that, oh there I go again talking about those bloody Europeans, wait a minute WE ARE EUROPEAN! And we all know the damaging affect that eating while you drink has on your ability to get PISSED! At least this one wouldn’t benefit the LVA. Wouldn’t it?
Summary:
As a nation we have a giant mammy who is part political, part church, and part hand wringing moron and this mammy has been telling us how bold we are and how we need her to make choices for us as we cant be trusted. Our older brothers in Europe are different they are more intelligent and know right from wrong. This ladies and gentlemen is the culture that has bred thousands of alcoholics year on year, this is the culture we must replace.
I know that initially the irresponsible drinker will go crazy with his new found freedom but like most things, in time we too will be like our European counterpart. How do I know this? Well think of all the irish that moved abroad over the years, and now think of how many then took it upon themselves to drink themselves to death due to cheaper booze, later hours and greater availability. You see its not the irish people themselves that are the problem but our flawed antiquated laws, and if you look at the UK who has similar laws, values and prices you will see that they too have inherited the problems that go along with them. And yes we do go crazy when on holiday in Spain and are known for that. But think of the reason why we do that, and then imagine that we had similar regulations as Spain.
I believe the drinking aspect of our social life would decrease as it would be no longer so rebellious to our youth. Similarly to a parent keeping cakes and sweets from a child only for that child to wolf down as many cakes as he can get his hands on when mammy’s not looking and as a result getting sick. I also think it would kill off the pub/nightclub as we know it and a new breed of restaurants and cafés would dominate. All these things would in fact force a change in our drinking culture in a way no restrictive law can. Finally if you still believe that the irish are currently killing themselves with drink, then think of the laws are restrictions that got us to this point and how many more people must be victims of alcohol abuse before we admit we got it wrong and we need to change our way of thinking.
An algerian lady faced 15 years today in a dutch prison, over alegations that she detonanted her false breasts, which were at the time full of the illegal drug animorphal E5.
